


MSHL: Muscles and Dust

by shokhk



Category: Mashle: Magic and Muscles (Manga), RWBY
Genre: Action/Adventure, Crossover, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28665834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shokhk/pseuds/shokhk
Summary: After becoming the most likely Divine Visionary candidate, Mash and his friends got into a predicament with a self-proclaimed 'Portal Master'. Getting stuck in another world, Mash meets a world where magic is optional and monsters haunt humanity. Will even he be able to punch his way ou-oh who am I kidding, you know he will.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Mash Burnedead and the Contrasting Portal Magic

* * *

“The old guy’s back.”

“Mash, that’s the Headmaster!”

“I know.”

“You two, stop bickering. If he’s come back from the Bureau then his news will be important.”

“Why are you here again?”

The first conversation of the day when the more noteworthy students (plus Finn) woke up this day. Daut was taken from his far-away fantasy of marrying Lemon and Lemon was kidnapped from her _purely innocent_ dream of becoming a cream puff and then marrying Mash. Mash then eats her or at least was about to if she hadn’t been woken up. Lance was already up looking at the picture of his sister in his locket, which did _not_ mean he had a sibling complex! And finally, the only student that actually matters in this story-I mean the main characte-oh, uh I mean the savior of Adler Dorm! Mash Burnedead was rudely awoken from his dream of a creampuff coffin, the most delicious way to go.

Oh yeah, Finn was here too. I guess.

Finn looked around his room that was _for some reason_ being used as their group’s hang-out spot. When he asked about this Mash only said, “Because yours is the cleanest, and it has a kitchen.” Even though Mash also shares this room with Finn.

Finn then looked to the ceiling parting his yellow and white hair, wearing his red and black tie and cloak befitting of the Adler dorm. “Why do I get the feeling I’m being looked down upon?”

Daut frowned at his friend, from the comfy chair that he bought from Finn with some of his herbal tea collection. Seriously, it’s more extensive than you might think. “Ain't God supposed to be looking down on all of us?” His jagged mark under his eye wrinkling with his left eye.

Mash, who was busy munching on a creampuff, noticed this discussion and thought to give his two cents. “Isn’t God dead though?” Wearing the same uniform, Mash sported a sleek bowl cut with a lightning-shaped mark under his left eye.

Lance, who had been contemplating the grapevine he’d heard from the students recently, (He still can’t believe how much he’d missed from the time he was away) glared at Mash. “Where in this world did you get that conclusion?” With a somewhat scraggly light-blue haircut and two straight marks perpendicular to each other under his right eye.

Mash looked seriously over to Lance, “I could feel it in my muscles.”

As Lance refused to even exercise that answer, this let Finn respond instead. “Did Kevin tell you?”

“Nah, it was Koji.”

“I thought your brain would’ve told you that.”

“Mash?”

“You named your brain after yourself?”

“Well, my brain is my mind and personality so might as well.”

“I’m disturbed at how much sense that makes.”

“Wait…” Daut was confused. “You name your muscles?”

Even Mash looked unimpressed, “Well… duh, are you surprised?”

Daut raised his finger… and then put it back down. “Ya makes too much sense.”

Lance rolled his eyes at the trio’s idiotic behavior. The fact that he continues to hang out with them is a mystery he chooses not to dwell on. Not at all.

_Big brother! Why do you always pick fights?_

Damn him and his bleeding heart! Oh well, he planned on filling in the others with the information he gathered, but he supposes if they’re just going to goof off then he might as well let them be.

_Because they picked on you._

He had better things to do anyway, like practicing his poetry!

_I’m a big girl! I can handle some bad words!_

He still had his greatest inspiration after all. “ _O, ‘tis unworthy ears and monstrous heart soften at thy gentle words_ ~”

And he’d be damned before anything took her away.

**MSHL**

With his almost two decades of muscle building, Mash also developed his senses out of boredom. Those senses include his hearing so, unfortunately, he had to hear his friend recite poetry about his little sister. He didn’t know what he was saying exactly, but he had an idea. With some new-found wisdom, Mash ignored Lance and instead looked for something else to distract himself.

“Daut?”

Pausing to finish his tea, Daut looked at Mash. “Ya, man?”

“You look different.”

The so-called ‘main character’ preened, “Finally, took ya long enough to notice.”

Mash nodded, “Did you get a new headband?”

Daut stopped, in all honesty, he _was_ wearing a new headband since his old one got destroyed. But _that_ was what Mash noticed about him? What about the fact he finally got out of his full-body cast!? “Dude, my cast is gone! How did ya not notice that!?”

Mash furrowed his brows, “You had a cast on?”

Daut stared at Mash, “OF COURSE I DID! DID YA NOT SEE ME AT DINNER A FEW DAYS AGO!?”

Eyes minutely widening, Mash’s brain (otherwise known as Mash) finally caught up to him. “Oh yeah, that was you? Huh, you were so quiet I couldn’t tell.”

Silently fuming, Daut calmed his nerves. Mash was always slow on the intellectual side of things. He thankfully made up for it in his willingness to learn, but it was still much to be desired. Breathing a deep sigh, Daut relaxed. _Those self-help books on anger-management aren’t as stupid as I thought!_ “Whatever yes, I did get a new headband. Ya like it?”

Mash nodded, “I think it suits you.” It fit his demeanor more than the black and white headband he had before. The dark blue contrasted his bright red hair, making it stand out more and also fit with the red tie of the Adler uniform.

Then Mash got confused, “Wait, if you had a full-body cast on then who took care of you?”

Daut conveniently looked away from Mash, trying futility to hide his now hair-matching face. “I uh, got some help from that Magia Lupus lady.”

“Who?”

“You wouldn’t know her; she goes to a different dorm. Wait, she was also at the dinner! How do you keep forgetting who was there?”

“I was distracted by Abyss and Lemon, anyway did you have fun?”

Daut ignored the unfairness of the world that was Mash getting to hang out with Lemon and instead answered his question. “I mean, I’m grateful she helped me out but you don’t know the things I’ve seen thanks to her!” Daut’s voice took on a haunted undertone.

 _That_ got Mash’s mild attention, “You're right, I don’t. What happened?”

_Hey strong man, wanna be my body pillow?_

Daut shivered head to toe, “Things I thought I wanted, but not actually thought through. I would totally do it again of course… man, this explains some of the crap I’m into.”

Finn, who was silently listening in on this conversation also shivered. “Can we just get going, I think the headmaster’s already back.”

Writing down the last of his new lines, Lance nodded. “You’re right, we should make haste.”

The group strode out of Finn and Mash’s room, out of the newly replaced door, and into the extravagant hallways. Think Hogwarts if the castle makers were pretentious jackasses, then you get Easton Academy, one of the most historical and prestigious magical academies.

The gang spotted long blonde hair rushing towards them, waving frantically with a sickle-shaped mark under her right eye. “Hey guys, wait up. Don’t leave me behind!”

“Hi, Lemon.”

“Good morning, Lemon.”

“H-Hey.”

“How was your morning?”

Brightening up, Lemon caught up to them. “It’s going alright, I was having a pretty good dream though…” She sighed.

“Yeah…” Daut and Mash both wistfully agreed.

However, Lemon took Mash’s agreement in the wrong way. _Oh my god! He was dreaming about me, wasn’t he! Oh, Mash, you don’t need to hide your feelings from me~_

Giggling away at her thoughts, she followed the others to the main hall for some breakfast.

Finn asked the question some of them were thinking about. “I wonder what’s the big announcement? Do you think it’ll be about that Cell War guy?”

Lance put a hand on his chin, “Most likely, maybe even some more information about this Innocent Zero group that’s supposedly so dangerous. If Mash could make one of their members run away, then I don’t think they’ll be too much of a problem.”

Daut looked dubious, “Yeah, but he’s Mash. Compared to us, they're probably pretty powerful.”

Lance glanced sharply at Daut, “Do not underestimate my power, and don’t compare me to you.”

Daut pulled out his spiked wand, already steaming. “Oh yeah, show me your power then! I’ll only have to kill your stupidly handsome face once before you shut up!”

In response to his posturing, Lance readied his magnolia wand. “If you wish to die, then allow me.”

“The lines are getting long, let’s hurry up.” Spotting the line to the food, and more importantly his desserts, Mash grabbed his friends and leaped over to the next in line.

While in mid-air, Daut put his wand away. “Tch great, now the moods gone.”

Lance responded in kind, “Next time then.”

Daut smirked, “Yeah sure, kill ya next time!”

“I can’t believe you people are my friends,” Finn replied while contemplating the life choices that got him to this moment. _It all started… when I was born…_

**MSHL**

Having finished with a hearty breakfast, in which Daut might’ve accidentally set a world record for speed eating ( _I missed out on some meals okay?_ ), they all gathered in the main hall with the headmaster looking over all of them.

Headmaster Wahlberg was a very gaunt and well-groomed man. With a white beard almost as long as him and rounded spectacles, he looked every bit an old and wise mentor-figure, in his own weird way he _was_ a good teacher. It just so happened that his teachings sometimes included extreme mental, and physical stress to get a point across. Even though he was the most powerful wizard among them all, he only sported a single curved mark under his left eye.

He cleared his throat, “Thank you all for the warm welcome back, my students! It makes an old man like me so joyful to see the younger generation so up and about.”

Mash looked confused, again. “But we’ve been just sitting here?”

Finn answered the best he could, “I guess that’s warm to him?”

“Weird.”

“I suppose.”

As they quieted down, the headmaster continued. “But, enough about me and my ramblings. I believe I have some grave news to share with you all.”

The entire student leaned forward in anticipation. There had been many rumors going around the kingdom and academy about death row inmates escaping and important meetings being discussed in secret with all of the Divine Visionaries attending. Now they can finally get some concrete details.

“The criminal organization known as Innocent Zero has resurfaced.”

A shocked gasp.

“One of them infiltrated the basement of this very school.”

Even more shock emanated from the crowd

“And finally, a dangerous individual calling himself the ‘Portal Master’ has been running across the kingdom.”

A few students passed out.

“But, do not worry!”

Wahlberg pointed to a certain student in the crowd, “Because this one first-year student managed to repel the intruder, and it just so happens that he is the best candidate for a Divine Visionary in the entire school year!”

Heads swiveled over to the direction the Headmaster was pointing to, revealing Mash eating a creampuff. Not paying attention to any of this.

“What?”

Outrage soon followed.

**MSHL**

“I can’t believe that Wahlberg guy! I helped fight too, almost died even! Why do _you_ get all the credit!?”

Mash shrugged, “You can have it.” He didn’t really care about this stuff; the coins were all that mattered. And his creampuffs but that was a given, they’re simply a way of life.

Daut stopped in his pacing, “Oh really? Thanks, man.” He relaxed into his chair in the dorm room. _Man, this chair was worth the hefty price! Goodbye Ruby Blaze tea, I’ll miss your exotic, somehow spicy flavors..._

Lance stepped in to stop Mash from making a big mistake, “No, don’t. This is perfect for my plan.”

Launching out of his chair and twisting over to Lance, Daut whined. “Aww come on, you weren’t there! I was a total badass back there!”

“That doesn’t matter, if Mash gets enough recognition then _we_ by extension get noticed as well since we’re all in Alder, come next year we could become the new Divine Visionary candidates! Then we all get the chance to accomplish our goals.”

Finn chimed in with his concerns from the kitchen where he was helping Mash, “Isn’t that like we're just using Mash for his social status at school?”

Daut nodded from his reclined position, “Yeah, and besides it’s not as cool unless _I_ accomplish my dream myself. If I’m not the one killing all the pretty boys in this world, then what’s the point?”

“You disturb me…” Lance rubbed his face and let out a tired sigh, “Stop being an idiot, most of us want to be Divine Visionaries anyway. If we help him out, it’d just be the same as us if we got the coins ourselves.”

Finn gave a dubious nod, “I guess that’s a little better.”

Daut just crossed his arms, “Whatever, Mash! Get ready! You’re not the only one trying out for Divine Visionary, you got that!?”

“Okay.” A little friendly competition is good to get the blood pumping. Mash is glad Daut isn’t just sulking in the corner.

“Mash, are the cream puffs done yet?” Lemon, who was completely ignoring the conversation, asked. Since the Headmaster is trying to make Mash into a sort-of celebrity, they might as well celebrate!

Mash only nodded at Finn, who nodded back and began the process of finishing up the cream puffs. “Here you guys go, my first batch of cream puffs ever!”

Now seated down, everyone tried the homemade delicacy. “Wow, not bad Finn.”

Finn sheepishly scratched the back of his head, chuckling all the while. “Well, I guess I learned from the best.”

“Mash is still way better.”

Even though Finn knew it was true, it still hurt a little inside.

Mash finished his treat and softly smiled at his pupil, “I’m proud of you, this was good.”

…with his eyes feeling wet, Finn only nodded while wiping at his eyes. Finally, he has a skill completely unrelated to magic! Granted it was making cream puffs, but baby steps were always needed. Taking one of his own creations for himself, he made to sit down until he heard a knock at the door.

Opening the thankfully still intact door, Finn was met with white cloaks and a hungry look. _Magia Lupus…_ “Oh, welcome. I just made cream puffs; would you like some?”

Love was already moving when he said creampuffs, reaching out she tried to take the one in his hand. A slow hand raises from Lord Abel stopped her in her tracks. _Dang it, not fair!_ As befitting of a Magia Lupus member, she sported a mark under each eye.

Wordlessly, Abel slowly took the offered treat. Blankly staring at Finn, the whole exchange with his crossed pupils. His three marked eye never leaving him.

Abyss put a hand on his new blade, her blade? Who can really tell? “I assume it hasn’t been poisoned?” If this weakling even dares harm Lord Abel, then his sword will remove his head from his body. As all of his peers have, he also had two marks.

Shaking his head rapidly, Finn quickly responded. “N-No, Mash would kill me if I ever messed with a creampuff!”

“Ah.” Abyss awkwardly put his hand down, “A fair point.”

Still blankly staring, Abel nodded. “Why thank you, I will enjoy this confectionary even if the quality is lesser to those of greater skill.”

“Trust me, this is the best ya gonna get from him in terms of niceness.” Love ever so helpfully chimed in with a cutesy grin that would’ve made Finn a stuttering mess if it wasn’t the same grin she used when trying to kill him and Daut a few days ago. Instead, he simply paled.

**MSHL**

“Oh, hey puppet dude, you haven’t kidnapped anyone, have you?” Whether the greeting was Mash’s idea of a joke or not, is a mystery.

“Not right now, I’m a bit busy with the whole restructuring of Lang at the moment.”

“Ah, that’s good.” Mash then gave a small smile to Abyss. “Hey, Abyss.”

Abyss gave a smile back at him, always pleased to see him. “Hello, again Mash, greetings everyone, g-good d-d-day Lem-Lemon.” Unfortunately, the presence of a girl still ceased his motor functions. Love didn’t count since she does her best to avoid him. It stings a little less these days. But only by a little bit.

“I saw what happened this morning. It seems you have the Headmaster himself in your corner Mash.” Abel stated as he took a seat. It was impressive how much closer to becoming a Divine Visionary Mash had gotten in his first few months. Abel supposed he would’ve been envious if Mash hadn’t saved their lives from Cell War.

“Yeah, he really wants me to become one for some reason.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Probably, I wasn’t listening.”

As Mash and Abel caught up, the two groups sat across from each other. Daut was looking in any direction other than Love, Finn was sweating but not shaking this time, Lance was staring at them, assessing them in case they ever became a threat again. Love noticed none of this, as she was busy stuffing her face with creampuffs and occasionally winking at Daut. Abyss was doing his best to act natural across from Lemon, who was making eyes at Mash next to her.

 _Mash you lucky bastard!_ Both Daut and Abyss thought at the same time. Forming a strange connection when doing so. Weird, but what do I know right? I’ve never been in a relationship and neither have you! I'm not projecting, you are!

Getting back to the conversation, Abel was asking Mash what he knew about the Portal Master.

“Who?”

“That one fugitive the Headmaster mentioned.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t listening.”

Giving off a deep sigh, Abel did his best to push past his frustration. “He is a more recent criminal making a name for himself in smuggling rings and as an expert robber. His Portal magic is said to be extremely versatile and powerful.”

“Are you reading off a script?”

“Mash, do be careful. Even _you_ cannot punch portals.”

“Like that one over there?” Mash pointed to a shimmering blue portal behind Abel.

Abel followed his finger, “Yes, that would be about accurate.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

“...”

“...”

“-Hold on a minute!?”

“Knock knock…” Said the floating magic portal.

“Who’s there?” Said the oblivious Mash.

“Chell.”

“Chell who?”

Out the portal a figure leaped out, “It is I, Chellington Cube II!” Wearing an orange suit and pants, with the only to contrast being white hair and a white undershirt. Chellington wore a wide smile on his face as he stared the students down. His two jagged marks are crinkling as his smile literally met his eyes.

“Who?”

Abel gained a few sweat drops, the closest thing to him getting dumbfounded. Besides that, one time in the basement when Mash pile drove him. “I just told you.”

“I know, just joking.” Mash nodded to himself at his great joke, all thanks to _How to be the Comic Relief for Dummies_ , it taught him how to break dramatic tension like no other.

“I see.” _No, I don’t._

Lance and the others, now noticing the threat, all pulled out their wands. Except for Abyss, who instead unsheathed his broadsword. Newly-made thanks to Mash breaking his old one.

Chellington just looked confused, “That’s strange, this isn’t the Lang dorm is it?” He began to look around until he lost control of his body. Moving his eyes around, he saw that weird white-haired kid with a creepy baby doll in the crook of his arm outstretching his free hand towards him. _Some kind of body-control magic?_ Then he noticed the almost invisible puppet strings keeping him in place. _Oh? So, he_ is _here._

“What could you possibly want with my dorm?” Abel lazily kept him under his control, perhaps the ‘Portal Master’ was a bit too overhyped. Oh well, the reward for capturing a wanted fugitive would make up for his disappointment.

“I don’t care about your dorm, I want _you_!” Chellington smiled, just his luck! He’s got his target right where he wants him. Just a little longer…

“You're too old for him. He’s only attracted to puppets anyway.” Mash backed up his new acquaintance, raising one ready fist. First that weird rock-licking guy, now a peeping tom? This whole school was cursed with bad luck.

“They’re my primary source of magic power, not a part of my personal fantasies.” That’s not how people saw him, right?

“What’re they even talking about?” Daut whispered over to Finn, who was cowering behind him.

“Something dangerous and weird, I’m sure.”

Chellington chuckled deep inside his throat, these little brats were pretty funny! Too bad he had to cut this exchange short. “While you were talking about who sticks what in what, I was readying another spell.”

Before he could even blink, Abel found himself falling towards the floor. Looking down, he saw a similar simmering portal beneath, swallowing him whole. _This… is not ideal._

While his legs were already inside the portal he was suddenly across the room in an instant. “Well, that was embarrassing. Thank you for the assist, Abyss.”

Said savior nodded beside him, glaring poison at Chellington. “Of course, Lord Abel, allow me to make him pay with his life!”

“Oh? Is the boy-girl angry at me for trying to take away his owner? Isn’t that just adorable!” Now free from his strings, the Portal Master grinned wildly at his future victims. Without even looking, he side-stepped the enraged fist aimed at his delicate face. Smirking at the mushroom head, he leaped backward bowing deeply. “Aww, come on! Is everyone here tryna ruin all the fun?”

“I’ll show ya fun! In fact, I’ll show it to ya twice! **Explom!** ” Out of his wand, two identical suspended explosions rocketed out of Daut’s wand towards that smiling jerk.

“Hah! Is that the best you got!?” Still smirking, Chellington leaped forward avoiding the resulting double explosion behind him. When he felt a crushing magical force above him, he quickly dodged sideways.

“Damn, it’s like he can sense our magic.” Lance was admittedly miffed, his **Gravioli** was never avoided before.

“Oooh, not bad Crown! You’re getting closer to the tru-Woah!” A little too close for his comfort, Chellington ducked and rolled away from another insanely fast fist. _Damn, it's like he has no magic. I can't even sense him! This is so not fair!_

Blinking, he got himself an idea. It was so obvious! “Hey, mushroom head! Was your mom or dad the human?”

“Huh, who’s that weird mushroom head guy?”

 _What?_ “I’m talkin’ about you, ya idiot!” He screamed as he simultaneously dodged multiple explosions, strings, and gravity itself!

“I don’t look like a mushroom, do I?” Is that why Finn keeps telling him to change his hairstyle? Nah, it can’t be. His hair was a bowl-shape, not a mushroom-shape. “I think you need your eyes checked; my head doesn’t look like a mushroom.”

 _Oh, for god’s sake!_ “Whatever, your mom banged a mushroom!”

“I don’t have a mom.”

“Your dad stuck his tiny dick in a mushroom!”

Instantaneously, Mash appeared right in front of him, his fist already cocked. “That was pretty mean.”

“Finally, sorry kid! You just lost!” He tried to summon a portal in front of him but found his magic suddenly gone. Out of the corner of his eye, he locked gazes with the boy-girl’s blood-red Evil Eye.

“Say you’re sorry.”

 _Oh, shi-_ **BOOM!**

**MSHL**

“Well, glad that's over.” Mash dropped the fist he used to smash that rude jerks face in, he wasn’t moving, but best to be sure. “Where can we bury him?”

“MASH! PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T KILL HIM!” Finn was slightly hysterical, becoming an accomplice in a murder wasn’t exactly in his life plans!

“He’s probably alive.”

“THAT’S NOT REASSURING!”

“If he still breaths, then I will finish the job.” Abyss, ever so vigilant, raises his blade.

“PLEASE DON’T KILL ANYBODY, I CAN’T HAVE THAT ON MY RECORD!”

Lance glanced over to his right, where Love, the Magia Lupus member was eating the leftovers of everyone’s plates. “Why didn’t you help protect your leader?”

Love shrugged; cheeks puffed out. “You guys had it covered.”

“I see.” _No, I don’t._

“Um, hey guys?” Mash’s voice came from behind them.

“Yeah Mash?” Coming out of her hiding spot, Lemon poked her head out.

“His portals were blue right?”

“Uh, I think so?”

“Then why is this one red?”

When everyone craned their heads over to Mash, all their eyes widened when they saw a crimson portal starting to create a vortex inside poor Finn and Mash’s room. The vortex was trying to suck them inside the portal, leading to god knows where.

“Hold on everyone,” Abel said calmly as he wrapped himself in his strings to keep from moving.

“Wow, thanks genius!” Daut growled out as he hung onto the floor.

Everyone followed their leads, with them grasping the first thing they could find. Abyss stabbing his sword into the floor. Lemon hung onto the wall she was hiding behind. Lance increased the gravity where he was standing. Love kept sitting where she was, thankful that the table was bolted onto the floor.

Even though Mash was the closest, he kept still by simply digging his heels into the floor and keeping his center of balance low. That was until one of the creampuffs he was saving for later, and his charm inside his Adler cloak got sucked into the red portal. Eyes widening the slightest bit more than usual, Mash leaped after it without thinking. “My babies.”

Lance saw this and prepared to cast a reverse **Gravioli** to bring him back, only in his panic he lost his focus on the spell that was keeping him safe. Leaving him vulnerable to the rapid winds of the now crimson and unstable vortex. Grasping wildly, he grabbed the nearest object he could find. Unfortunately, that object happened to be a pissed off, Daut.

“I DON’T WANNA DIE A VIRG-” Was the last thing the remaining students heard before the trio was sucked through the disappearing portal.

Then, silence… for about a second.

“Oh, fuck.”

**MSHL**

The first thing Mash felt when he landed (besides the creampuff and charm that was safely tucked in his cloak once again) was the bundle of limbs on top of him. Next was the dirt staining his uniform, and the harsh sun in his eyes. Or at least it would’ve been harsh if Mash hadn’t trained his eyes by staring at the sun for long periods of time during his earlier youth. _Those were the days._

Mash slowly got up, ignoring the groaning pile beneath him. Looking around, he saw they were somehow in a tent with a ripped hole in the ceiling. Stocked with books and papers filled with weird writing, a sharpening wheel next to a large neatly cleaned bed, and a bone-masked red and black wearing woman who was just standing there.

Mash took in the red eyes beneath the intricate and creepy bird mask, the extremely pale skin covered by cool looking red and black armor, and the dark mane coming out of her scalp. He only had one question;

“Are you a vampire?”

"..."

"Cause if you are, I kinda need my blood."

"..."

"Ya know? Cause blood keeps my heart pumping, which then leads to my muscles activating and then… I'm sure you know the rest since you drink it."

"The consumption of your blood is of no interest to me."

"Well good on you, realizing that drinking blood is bad."

"The spilling of your blood, however, does interest me."

"That's not much of a difference." The Vampire was circling him how, making Mash hover protectively over his still downed friends. The portal must've been a terrible trip if they were still unconscious.

"Friends of yours?" Her red eyes seemed amused, almost gleeful as she stared him down. What she saw in Mash, a part of him had an idea.

His blood of course.

"Yup, we had a bit of a tumble. Looks like it was weirder than we thought if a vampire was waiting for us." The bloodsucker's hand on her sword still hadn't moved. Mash, however, could see the way her body moved. Her posture was of a fighter, ready to try and cut him down.

She wouldn't have much success, but she's immortal. Mash wondered, could he punch out immortality?

She chuckled, "Tell me, where are they compared to you."

"The ground."

Sighing, she pulled an amused look with her eyes. "I can tell, you're strong. Can almost sense it even."

"Is that why we're here?" Great, another stalker. And here Mash thought that love magic chick was bad. This one seems to be able to actually fight.

"Would you believe me that was merely happenstance?"

"So, this was an accident?"

The vampire craned her neck, "Accident… destiny, whatever you want to call it. Doesn't change the fact you're all trespassing."

"Sorry, we can leave right now if you want."

Tsking, she shook her head. "I'm afraid, for you, that's not possible. I need something in return for all the time you've made me lose."

"Don't care, I'm an advocate for gender equality. I'll kick your ass if I have to." Mash said as he raised his fists. A sword is trickier than magic, something he had the first-hand experience in. Magic, he can resist and endure, but even the toughest of armor can be pierced or cut by a skilled hand and sharp blade.

"Let's hope so, otherwise your friends will not be able to wake up." She gestured behind him.

Looking behind him, he saw his friends missing. A flap in the tent twitched in the wind.

Turning back around, he gave the stupid demon a glare.

"That look…" She looked positively _thrilled_. "Looks like I was right. You _are_ strong."

He readied his fist.

She held a hand out, "Not here, I'd rather not have my bed destroyed. You understand." She opened a familiar red portal behind her. "I'll be waiting for you outside. Where you may ask. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Best to not keep me waiting." Stepping into the portal, she smiled with her eyes. Vicious glee etched into her eyes.

Then she was gone. Leaving Mash alone.

He slowly lowered his fists with a sigh. _This is getting repetitive…_ _but she's got Lance and Daut, for their sake I need to be at my best. So, I'll just have to take my cream puff… and eat it._

_…_

_Mhm, so good…_

**MSHL**

Making his way out of the tent after getting some nutrition, Mash spotted a bunch of rapscallions staring at him. And by staring, he meant anything ranging from dark amusement to a poor man’s pity. If looks could kill, he would be mildly annoyed. Still, these creeps either kept staring at him or trying to talk to him. He just brushed them off with a well-placed head turn or glare. Mash had to admit, their reactions were pretty funny.

All the tents looked the same, so he just walked around the place until he spotted the vampire. How she survives in the sun, Mash wasn’t sure. What Mash was sure of, however, was how much this place reminded Mash of home. Not those wannabe bandits or weapons lying around, but more of the rural placement. Growing up in the woods his whole life, something about the free air and birds chirping made him feel nostalgic.

_Pops…_

Mash knew his pops still believed he was in the school, trying to become a divine visionary to give them the peaceful life he always wanted. Especially for his only son.

Mash’s eyes grew hard, his pops needed him. His friends needed him; this wasn’t the time for old memories. Narrowing his eyes, he put his other superpowered sense to use. All the training he did to spot a specific acorn from miles away, and then aiming for said acorn was finally going to pay off. Mash leaped into the air; many times, higher than the tallest structure in the bandit camp.

He quickly looked for his friends or that vampire woman, only spotting a makeshift arena. Shrugging in mid-air, he changed trajectory and launched towards the arena. He’s bound to get some answers here, when in doubt, look for the biggest building.

As soon as he neared the ground, he twisted and landed on his feet with both knees spread out. Instead of trying to bounce off of the ground harmlessly, he made sure to make as much of an impact as possible. Something about these guys just screamed insecure to him, the need to flex their muscles as much as possible to prove they’re not worthless members of society. _If there’s even a society here._

Plus, he also liked flexing his muscles sometimes.

Dusting off the dirt from his pants and cloak, he cracked his neck. The arena was bigger than he first thought, with a stone floor even. The floor even has pretty looking symbols and logos etched into it. _Guess they thought it looked deep and cool._ Surrounding the stone arena floor, the walls were made of wood but didn’t look cheap. These guys put a lot of time and effort into this thing. Too bad Mash will probably break it.

“Curious…” Behind him, he heard a familiar bloodsucking voice. “Your aura isn’t normal.”

“Maybe your ‘aura’ isn’t normal.” Are they talking about his non-magical status? If so, then Mash has to finish this quickly so they don’t report him to the bigwigs. If they do find out, he’ll have to make sure they never talk. Besides, what’re a few bodies in the forest? No one will find them anyway.

“Always have an answer, don’t you? Even when they're wrong or just ridiculous.” The vampire was shaking her head, chuckling with mirth. Mash noticed a lot of the creeps surrounding them, more so on her side. _She’s probably the leader or something._

“Where are they?”

“Who?”

Mash stared.

“So dramatic… they’re inside the arena. Shall we join them?” She turned around. Mash followed. _I kinda feel bad for her, being in the sun for so long must hurt._

“Why do I get the feeling you’re thinking something moronic?”

“You’re just projecting, that’s not a healthy way to live.”

When they got inside, Mash found himself staring at a suspended cage. A cage housing all of his friends. Well, two of them. The cage slowly got lifted by a wooden crane until it was high in the air above the arena, looking down on them all.

“Do you like it? I’ll admit it’s impractical, but it gets the point across.” Behind the mask, Mash could feel she was smirking. It was starting to annoy him.

“You really are a vampire.”

Her fingers twitched, “For the love of-My name is Raven Branwen. I am a human in case you can’t tell.” One of her eyes were twitching as well, Mash admitted it was a little satisfying seeing her so miffed.

“Are you sure? With your red eyes and pale skin, you could be.” It made sense really.

She answered in a snippy way, “Quite sure, now enough of this… just out of curiosity what did you think of the tribe?”

“Tribe?” He scratched his head, trying to recall his earlier thoughts. “Well, to be honest, it reminds me of home.”

“ _You_ grew up in a tribe?”

He shook his head, “No, but I lived in the woods with pops my whole life.”

She hummed, intrigued. “Is that so, is your father also like you?”

“Nah, he doesn’t like fighting.” That’s the main reason he wants to be a Divine Visionary, so he and his pops could live in peace.

Clicking her tongue, she shook her head in disappointment. “Such a tragedy, growing up with someone as cowardly as your father.”

“...huh?”

“Is that why you left him, you just couldn’t bear the sight of him anymore so you left without looking back?” She took off her mask, showing him her teeth.

“Look… I can tell you're really insecure and I kinda feel bad for you, but that’s the second time pops got made fun of today.” Mash took a step forward, leaving a small crater for a footprint. “It’s starting to make me mad.”

Raven was silent before she put her mask back on. “It seems I hit a chord; this banter has taken up too much of my time. Let us begin.”

Mash noticed her hand holding the hilt of her sword in a death grip, he wondered how close he came to her trying to bisect him.

He guessed it didn’t matter, she’s getting her chance soon anyway.

**MSHL**

Raven was giving introductions, playing up the fight between them. Grandstanding herself, and showing absolute confidence in her ability to win. Mash, on the other hand, was just standing there waiting for her to finish. _Man, this is taking forever. Is she done yet? How long can you just talk about yourself?_

Waiting for her to utter the words, ‘ready, ‘start’, or even ‘go’, Mash desperately wished he had some more cream puffs. The ones he ate in preparation weren't enough to sate his appetite. Was he addicted? Is this what addiction was like?

...Nah, can’t be. his passion was simply that, passion.

“Are you prepared, little boy?” With her finally finishing up her speech about strength, power, and or powder in that order, Mash nodded. Taking the time to neatly fold his dress shirt, tie, cloak, and dress pants off to the side, he got into a ready position. He also ignored the mocking laughter that met his ears.

Raven cocked her head to the side, “What a strange fighting style, did your weakling of a father teach you that?”

The floor _broke_ under his heels as he rocketed towards Raven. She had barely enough time to roll her eyes as a portal appeared before her.

Right before reaching Raven, Mash stuck one foot into the ground, pivoted his hips avoiding the portal altogether, and drove his elbow into her face. _Crack_ went her avian bone mask, as the shattered pieces clattered when they hit the floor. To her credit, Raven managed to right herself quickly after his elbow threw her away from him.

Spreading her stance, she unsheathed her blade. The dark crimson reflecting her damaged eye, revealing bloodshot rage. “Oh, sorry about the eye. I guess. We can stop if you want?” Growling, she stabbed towards him. The curved blade already aiming for Mash’s head intent on turning him into a shish kabob.

The ready Mash cocked his neck to the side to avoid the pointy stick. Unfortunately getting him in range of her knee. Exhaling some air, he got pushed back as he quickly dodged the sharp edges aimed at him. While Abyss was faster in his attacks, Raven’s were a lot more calculated. Perfectly calibrated to cause the most damage and pain.

Realizing this stalemate, he backed off and cracked a knuckle. The resulting shockwave surprised her, how a simple popping of a bone can causes enough air pressure to push her back she had no idea. Mash took advantage of this momentary lapse in concentration by following up with a fist aimed at her center mass while he himself stayed low to the ground.

The sheer power of that attack would’ve broken through her armor if her aura hadn’t protected her. Instead, she got thrown to the ground cratering it.

"Can we go now?"

Laughter met his words, even the downed Raven joined in. _They're like a cult. Weird._

Still chuckling as she got up, Mash got a good look at her face for the first time. "You… could it be?"

Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked at him carefully.

"You don't have a mark."

"Mark?"

You don't know?"

"Speak quickly, we're in the middle of our match." Raven's tone suggested she wasn't the most patient person.

"Wow, you really are homeless." Raven bristled. "If you don't have a Mark, then you're not born with magic." Mash ignored the widening of her eyes as he discovered a revaluation.

Mash could finally understand why they lived like this, why they were so insecure about themselves. It seems so obvious now, the woods, the staring, the weird portal-

Wait a minute… portals are made of magic right? Then that means…

"Someone gave you your magic." Mash stared hard. Those inmate guys everyone keeps talking about can give artificial magic to people. They gave some to Abel, maybe they could've…

Raven schooled her expression, "Magic you say, you believe in such fairy tales?"

Mash ignored her, "You planned for this, didn't you.”?

Snorting, she shook her head. "Stop being an idiot, the only reason I'm even tolerating you is that you're strong."

"You should kick us out, we won't mind." The other two might be unconscious, but Mash was sure they'd agree with him.

"Oh, but I'm having such a good time!" In a glint of dark metal, Raven thrust her katana straight into his face with all her strength.

 _Creak_ Raven's blade clattered, stuck between his front and bottom front teeth. instinctively, before Raven could even think to pull it out, Mash bit down. _Crack_

Mash spat out shards of metal, "Ew, your sword tastes awful." He watched as Raven wordlessly sheathed her blade.

"It has been a while since anybody has made me experience a first."

"Um, 'kay?"

"If you want your friends, then you'll have to keep a secret." She said as she closed her eyes.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Mash wasn't really good at lying, whenever he tries to, he gets too nervous.

He went ignored as red flames started spewing from her eyes. Opening them, her eyes blazed with power. "Are you ready to stop holding back?"

Mash took a stance, fists at the ready and feet parallel to each other. Yellow eyes hard as diamonds. "I knew it."

Those critical thinking lessons really paid off. Lance would be so proud.


	2. Mash Burnedead and the Vampires Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mash punches and Raven slashes. Who wins? You already know.

The temperature of the arena steadily decreased, slowly but surely the entire area was frosting over.

“Ice magic, huh?” Mash took in the change and kept his breathing deep and steady, letting his breaths keep him warm. Already he could feel his muscles loosening up, heartbeat steadying, and blood flowing. “Shouldn’t be too hard. I can handle some snowballs.”

Raven grinned, “I’m sure you can.” Instantly in front of her floating form, several large ice spikes appeared and sharpened. Without a word, the spikes launched themselves towards Mash. Right before they could impale him, Mash breathed deep and exhaled just as he launched a punch of his own. The two forces, magic and muscle, met in the center.

The ice stopped, before getting thrown back by the air pressure caused by the sheer power of his fist. Raven remained undeterred, allowing her ice to get closer until she turned and redirected the ice shards around her form and back at Mash. This time, the ice was shaped into tiny dagger-like shards, allowing them to cut into Mash’s body.

Mash dodged and weaved the shards, but they moved in every single direction, seemed to follow him, and didn’t let him ready an attack. Thinking on his head, Mash thought of what ice was weak too. _Ice melts, so a fire is its weakness._ A tiny smirk appeared on Mash’s face, unseen by anyone except for Raven.

Still dodging the sharp shards, Mash rubbed his hands together. Rubbing so fast his hands were a blur, they eventually were aglow with an orange heat that melted any ice that came close to his hands.

 _Not enough._ Taking his superheated hands and clapping them together, he ignited the chilled air around him. Causing an explosion of heat and wind that made anything cold to disappear in an instant. The resulting smoke and evaporated ice fogged the arena making it impossible to see both combatants.

“How’s that for a magic trick?” Mash got a pretty big surprise when Raven came out of the smoke unharmed. Waving her hands in fluid motions, the smoke was blown away by her own manifested wind.

“Nice trick, would you like to see mine?” Thrusting her hands out, concentrated beams of flame shot towards him. The flame struck the spot he was at and vaporized the floor. When Mash was nowhere to be seen Raven looked to the sky and charged one powerful jet of hell’s fire.

Mash noticed her charging her magic and had no interest in dodging. Instead, he inflated his lungs. An imposing pillar of fire approached Mash, set on cremating him. To match her attack, Mash blew as hard as he could, the chilled air from his exhaling breath clashing with an inferno. The two sides remained in their stalemate until Mash felt himself run out of air.

Purely on instinct, Mash rummaged through his pocket until he found a gold coin. It was his first gold coin, the only one he earned himself. Remembering his second encounter with Abel, Mash readied his next attack. As soon as his exhale finished, Mash threw his coin at the still approaching pillar of fire.

When he threw the coin, he made sure that right before he released it he twisted it to make it spiral. Doing this, he made sure that when the coin meets the fire pillar, it got torn apart by the unstoppable spiral and nails Raven right in her center mass.

As soon as the coin met the fire, it met no resistance as it tore the flame apart, resulting in Raven getting her aura almost completely broken by the coin slamming into her chest and causing her to cough up blood.

Mash finally landed on the ground, looking impassively at Raven’s coughing form. “Do you give up?” His words enraged Raven, causing her to look up and level her best bloodshot glare at him. Mash had to admit, she was kinda creepy when she did that. “Guess not.”

“It’s funny, I never got your name.”

“Oh, it’s Mash. Mash Burnedead.”

“Mash… where did you find such strength?” It was nothing like she's ever seen, even Tai couldn’t make as much damage as he could.

Mash gave Raven a tiny, amused smile. “My pops.”

She stared at him, face blank. Eye twitching, she let out a belly laugh. Wiping the blood from her mouth and tears from her eyes, she gave a smile to Mash. It wasn’t the darkly amused ones like before or even a bloodthirsty one. She gave him a genuine smile like she was enjoying this fight. “Mash Burnedead, you enlighten me.”

“Okay?”

“When you brought up your knowledge on magic I thought you were my enemy, someone looking to steal and use my power like all the others.”

“Huh.”

“I now realize you’re much more than that and much too stupid to be working for someone else.”

“I’m not that dumb.” He just wasn’t good with books, that’s all.

“You fight for your friends, is that your secret?” Raven questioned, honestly.

“Listen, lady, I just want a peaceful life with my pops and friends.”

“And to do that you need enough strength to protect them, is that right?”

“I guess so.”

Raven chuckled, “In that case, there’s something you should know about your friends.”

Mash got on guard, “What’s wrong?”

“Their heartbeats were irregular, and bodies spasming sometimes. If you don’t hurry up and end this quickly you might end up burying them in the woods.”

Eyes widening, Mash wasted no time jumping towards Raven with the intent to finish this. Raven felt her smile taking on a more cruel smirk as she sidestepped his charge and shot his face full of lightning.

**MSHL**

Mash felt every fiber of his being spasming, his muscles locking up and falling out of his control. He shakily got up, already getting used to the effect. Until he felt another shock course through his system, causing him to almost fall down. Grimacing from the pain, he glared at Raven.

“People tend to become stronger when their loved ones are in danger.” The electric arcs in her hands became more and more unstable, as the sky itself clouded over and thunder sounded out like divine music. As Raven’s eyes got more intense, so did her magic. Crazy powerful streams of light coalesced into one singular beam of lightning. “I want you at your absolute _strongest_!”

Mash breathed in deep as he closed his eyes, “ **Full Body Magic.** ” As soon as the beam of divine fury neared him, Mash opened his eyes and spun on his heel catching the lightning strike in his hands. Keeping to the end of his rotating arc, Mash stomped a heavy foot and hurled the lightning bolt back at Raven. “ **Retro Macto.** ”

Eyes wide, Raven moved quickly. Jumping to the side in order to avoid being cooked alive. As soon as she blinked, right before her was Mash putting a knife-hand to her chest. Muscles tensing, Mash put his whole body into this final attack. “ **Full Body: One Inch Punch.** ”

Driving his fist into her center, Mash knocked the wind, blood, and Maiden state out of her, launching her back out of the arena, slamming into the wooden wall behind her, and destroying it.

The victory was his.

Raven sputtered as the wood dust got into her lungs, blood soon joined as she once again coughed the red substance out. Limping her way back to the arena was an accomplishment in itself, but through sheer will, she kept herself upright and conscious.

Looking over in the direction of her opponent, she found him fully dressed in his cloak and tie once again. “After all I inflicted, you seem none too worse for wear.”

“You weren’t good enough to take me down, vampire lady. Now…” Mash pointed an impeccably strong finger to the ground. “Put my friends _down_.” The sound of doom boomed as Mash glared at her.

Raven smirked, “I can still fight… but you seem to be in a hurry.” She motioned with her hands and the suspended cage above them slowly descended. Looking inside, Lance and Daut were still unconscious but now they were spasming. “I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting, they need the help anyway.”

Mash looked on, wide-eyed. “What’s happening?” He checked their heartbeats and found they were pounding.

The vampire shrugged, “Best to be going now, they might not last much longer.”

As Mash got ready to do just that, Raven put up a hand. “Or… you could stay here a little longer. I think I know what’s wrong with them.”

“Help them.” It wasn’t a plea, it was an order.

She smiled, “Oh I will, but in return, I’ll need a favor. One day I’ll come for you. I’ll give you a request you can’t refuse, then we’ll be even.” She held out a hand. “Do we have a deal?”

Living steel almost crushed her hand, “Help them.”

Subtly, Raven cradled her hand. “Follow me.” She then turned around and walked off.

Picking up his friends, Mash followed. _This is why you should never make a deal with a vampire._


	3. Mash Burnedead and the Magicless Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody get's squished, and a lot of people explode.

Mash’s brain (also known as Mash) was one of the only muscles he couldn’t seem to train as well as the rest of his body. Pectorals? Lifted. Quads? Shredded. Biceps? Ripped. Abs? Toned.

Mind? He could memorize helping guides on all the different muscle groups and the benefits of protein all he likes. But when it came to the more technical aspects of private education or just too much information in general, his brain fizzles out.

Even so, he still tries his best. Giving up on pumping iron, even mental ones, was not an option! This is why he’s doing everything in his power to keep from passing out as Raven the Vampire took him and his friends to their medical tent and started to explain how their magic system was _totally_ not magic and was instead a gift from the bastard gods ( _Isn’t that the same?_ ) and how the dust they use that controls the elements is _also_ not magic and instead a natural phenomenon caused by… something to do with rocks? Mash doesn’t remember.

At the end of her long-winded explanation, Mash could only muster up all his will to say one response; “Okay, what does that have to do with helping my friends?”

Raven was taken aback, “You- I just got done telling you how I could heal them by unlocking their aura!”

“Oh,” Mash muttered. “Why didn’t you just do that then?”

The Vampire Lady took several deep calming breaths, “Fine, just don’t forget the favor you owe me.”

“Okie Dokie then.” 

Raven rolled her eyes and began the healing process, placing her hand on Lance’s chest and muttering some words. “For it is in passing that we achieve creampuffs. Through this, we become a creampuff of virtue and creampuff to rise above all creampuffs, infinite in creampuffs, and unbound by creampuffs. I release your creampuff and by my creampuff protect creampuff."

Mash felt his entire body heat up, slowly falling onto a golden bed of creampuffs. The wondrous scent and texture alluring him to stay forever. _This truly is heaven…_

He looked around and found new additions to his fantasy, Lemon baking his creampuffs, further adding on to this tantalizing cascade of a sweet and nutritious experience. Daut was sitting in a recliner made out of creampuffs, dunking his creampuff in his herbal tea. _Strange, but who am I to decline his indulgence._ Lance wasn’t eating any of the perfect cream-filled balls himself but was instead feeding them to his little sister who is the most important and precious thing in the world and whoever says otherwise can go straight to hell! _Lance totally has a sister complex._

And finally, there was his father, good ol’ pops. Simply sitting by his side with a proud and content smile on his face that said everything.

Mash sighed, he never wanted to leave…

…

“...ash!”

“Mash, you buffoon! Snap out of it!”

“Huh?”

“Stop drooling and focus!” Raven pointed to his friends, all healthy and no longer spasming. 

“Whoopee, thanks Raypire!” 

“Don’t ever call me that.”

“`Kay, now what?”

“Now?” She chuckled. “You put them on your backs and leave. I’m tired of this.”

“That’s a little mean.”

“It’s simply the truth. Good luck in… life.” After smirking, she just turned around and walked out of the medical tent.

Finally left alone, Mash looked to his downed friends. He could just carry them out of here, but he was kinda hungry. Maybe he could ask for some creampuffs first?

Just then he got an idea, they must be hungry as well! They needed nourishment!

Mash tried slapping them awake, but they remained stubborn in their tight grip of the sleeping dust. Shaking them didn't work either. 

"I don't wanna punch them, they might get mad…"

Mash thought long and hard, wondering about what could jolt them awake. Mash then thought about what _he_ would awake to. This then led to Mash thinking about creampuffs, then Mash starting feeling warm and he slowly lowered himself into his pile of crea-

 _Slap_

Shaking himself off, Mash refocused. "If the taste, smell, or even mention of creampuffs is enough to wake me up… what about them?" Remembering the times his Pop's woke him up using his favorite confectionary, back when Mash hadn't gotten used to his strict workout regimen, he came up with an idea.

Clearing his throat, Mash whispered into Lance's ear. "Hey, your sister's here to see you."

With a speed that left even Mash impressed, Lance opened his eyes and literally threw himself off the medical tarp and out of the tent shouting, "Anna, don't be scared! Big brothers here for you!"

Mash felt himself cringe.

He then turned to Daut's unconscious body and said, "Hey Daut, some really hot guy is bragging about how he's better than you."

Daut didn't wake up, he _erupted_! Exploding out of the tent, he bellowed at the top of his lungs, "WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?! I'LL KILL 'EM THREE-NO, FOUR TIMES!!"

Dusting his hands off, Mash nodded to himself for a job well done.

**MSHL**

Exiting the destroyed medical tent, Mash was greeted to quite a sight. The sight of Lance standing over a **Graviolied** woman was normal enough, but seeing Daut scream over a pile of soot-covered bandits was different from how he usually saw Daut after a fight. 

"Who is this scum that thought she could fight me?"

"WHO'S NEXT HUH!? I'LL KILL ALL YA HANDSOME BASTARDS!"

Mash watched as the bandits all brandished their weapons and prepared to charge. He sighed and cracked his neck; the sound ruminating throughout the entire camp. _That_ caught his friend’s attention, momentarily forgetting their ‘opponents’.

“Mash, buddy! There ya are, don’t worry I’ve got these jerks!” 

“Hmph, after we’re finished you got some explaining to do.”

Lance heard a slight whoosh of the wind and by the time he turned his head the pointed tip of a blade was pointed directly at his head. The only thing keeping him alive was Mash’s tight grip on the blade itself. Eyes widening, his concentration slipped and his attacker below his feet suddenly slipped away from his dissipated **Gravioli**. He jumped back as her own wrist blades swung towards his face. 

“You piece of shit! You think you can just mess with the Branwen Tribe!?” His attacker accused him. Personally, she attacked him first when he had awoken. Everything after was simply self-defense.

“I was simply defending myself from you and your psychopathic ways.” 

She barked out a laugh, “Oh, really! That’s rich coming from you! What kind of psycho just crushes someone like that!?”

“It’s rather effective, is it not?”

“Why you little shit.”

Lance’s opponent twitched before pointing her weapons at him. He assumed she would come charging at him again, but instead her blades opened up and started firing tiny and extremely quick projectiles. While Lance was certainly surprised, that didn’t stop him from conjuring one of his lesser-used spells. “ **Graviaegis.** ” 

A purple magic circle appeared in front of him, her projectiles came to a complete stop as they neared him. “Feh, cool semblance I guess.”

Cocking his head, Lance reversed the gravity of the metal casings fired at him, allowing him to launch the casings back at her. Rippling through the air, the metal cylinders exploded towards their original user.

The tribeswoman effortlessly dodged his attack and continued rushing his location. Firing more of those things at him. Lance was on high alert, keeping his protective spell in the direction of her relentless onslaught.

Lance knew the longer this went on, his shield would fail. He’s never been in a fight like this, against an opponent as fast and as ruthless as her. Even Mash had held back against him, so did he. 

Meanwhile, his attacker was still running circles around him, Making Lance feel like he was going dizzy. Thinking on the spot, he sprayed all the metal he collected from her in a sphere of devastation, forcing her to stop firing and disengage. Mentally smirking, Lance pointed his wand to the earth. “ **Gravioli Torture Pillar.** ” 

Rising out of the earth like an obelisk of power, Lance’s **Torture Pillar** towered over both Lance and the tribeswoman, casting a shadow over them. A crystalline pillar with a magic ball standing on top, it pulled everything into itself. Since he created it himself with his gravity magic, The **Torture Pillar** had its own gravitational pull. 

To her credit, she was able to resist the pull until Lance simply upped its power. She yelled in outrage as her body was stuck to the side of the pillar unable to even move. “You gotta be kidding me!”

Lance walked up to her, confident in his every step. “I assure you, I am not.”

“You can’t keep this up forever! Once you run out of aura I’ll put a bullet right between your eyes!” She screamed in defiance, yet gravity’s hold on her was absolute. 

“I’m assuming you surrender?” He ignored her growl. “Very well then, would you mind telling me how you fought like that?” In fact, now that he can get a good look at her he can see that she does not have a mark. Looking around, he can see every other person besides his friends having no marks of their own.

If they’re anything like Mash, then they must be formidable opponents to anyone other than him.

“Seriously? Fuck off!”

Mentally slapping himself, Lance realized his mistake. “Ah, apologies. I’ve been rude. My name is Lance Crown, a pleasure to meet you.” He then bowed in greeting. 

During her struggles, she let out a surprised laugh. “You’ve gotta be kidding me… right?”

“I, again, assure you that I am not.”

“Ugh, fine… names Vernal! Remember it as the name of the badass that’ll kick your ass once I get out of here!”

He nodded in thanks, “I see, well Miss Vernal I’d like to ask you a question.”

If she could still move, she would’ve slapped her face. “Oh for god’s sake!”

“Since you don’t have a mark, am I correct in assuming you don’t have magic?”

“Wha…? Of course, I don’t have magic ya dumbass!” 

“In that case, it would be logical if your entire tribe suffered the same fate, am I correct?” 

“Stop playing dumb! Nobody in this damn world has any magic!”

 _This world, huh? Curious._ “It seems we are not of this world, thank you for informing me.” He once again bowed in thanks.

His captive sighed tiredly, “Please tell me you’re kidding…” She almost pleaded.

“...no.”

Lance then went deep into his thinking pose. _If this world has no magic, then that means we are either in the past, which is unlikely given those strange contraptions she fought me with, or we are on a completely different world with different cultures and customs, due to magic not existing._

Lance assumed that this should be an extreme shock to him, stuck in a different world, away from his goals, away from Anna… why was he so calm? Perhaps the extreme conditions and adrenaline have prevented him from fully processing the situation. Lance nods to himself, he’ll have a panic attack later. 

“Oi!” Lance is broken out of his intense thinking and crisis management by Vernal calling out to him. “Can I get down now?”

“That depends, do you promise to not attack me?”

“Not a chance, bub!”

“Then it seems we’re at an impasse.”

“Oh, I’ll impasse you all right.”

Lance sighed, this was going to be a long day, He wonders how the others are doing.


	4. Daut Barret and the Explosion Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daut looks deep inside himself and doesn't like it. Not enough explosions!

**Daut Barret and the Explosion Devil**

Daut didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know who these people were, or even where they are. What he did know was that these jerkoffs think they’re better than him!

“You losers better get outta my way! I’m confused, somewhat tired, thirsty, and extremely hormonal! SO I CAN’T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU IF YOU DON’T LISTEN UP!!”

All the surrounding bandits cocked their weapons, adding to their defined and bandit-like appearances giving them a cool factor that Daut just couldn’t overlook. “Is that a threat, _brat_?”

It made him hate them even more, who did they think they were!? Believing their pretty looks alone will get them places! HE’LL SHOW THOSE RAGGEDY ASS BASTARDS!! “Nah! It’s a warning!” Showing off a sharp smirk, Daut twirled his spiked wand, beckoning them to come forward. “Give it to me! GIVE ME ALL YA GOT!!”

Small booms resonated from those handsome pricks, striking his body and forcing him back a few steps. Daut groaned, whatever those things were they stung like a suicidal bee! “My turn!”

He thrust his trusty wand out and yelled “DIE A HUNDRED TIMES!! **MACHINE GUN EXPLOM!!** ” 

Dozens of exploding balls made themselves known, hovering over the crowd of bandits. He dropped them all like a bombing run and carpet-bombed the entire area in front of him, leaving nothing but a pile of soot-covered schmucks.

"Serves ya right! Just a buncha losers with rugged looks. Well not anymore!" He flipped them off for good measure.

He stood on top of his pile of human agony and bellowed at the top of his lungs, "WHO'S NEXT HUH!? I'LL KILL ALL YA HANDSOME BASTARDS!"

Looking down from his victorious tower, Daut smirked over at Mash who was just walking out of a burnt-up tent looking confused but satisfied as ever. "Mash buddy! There ya are, don't worry I've got these jerks!" 

"You cocky git!"

Daut turned and blasted his way down his handmade pile of explosive suffering, nailing the angry bandits as they tried to near him. With every bandit brought to their blown up demise, two more took their place.

_It's like these bastards are multiplying!_

Snarling, Daut summoned more exploding balls behind him. Instead of firing them in front of him, he aimed below him.

 **BOOM**

Rocketing above those lame bandits Daut attacked from above, keeping him safe from their weapons. At least until he started getting pricked from midair. Whatever they were shooting out of those things packed a punch especially since he started getting juggled in midair. “Not goin’ according to plan!”

His original plan was to keep up his bombardment from above, raining karmic justice for all the unattractive people of the world. With that plan shot to hell, he had to resort to his last-ditch effort. His trump card! Run like he-Retreat! That’s right, a strategic retreat is the smartest move to make in this scenario.

It’s a damn shame that Daut isn’t the smartest tool in the shed.

Narrowing his eyes, Daut fought through the pain thinking hard about his next move. He was thinking so hard in fact that he didn’t realize he was falling until he was suddenly rolling in the dirt. He quickly tried to get up but was instead kicked to the ground. He growled, but the onslaught didn’t end.

“Not so tough are ya!?”

“That one’s for my friend you blasted to kingdom come!”

“You really think I’m handsome?”

“Nows not the time to validate your looks, Berry!”

“When is it the time then!?”

Daut could barely hear them, instead of focusing on anything besides the pain. Somehow, he held strong. Feeling hardier than ever before!

“You got some aura on you, kid! Wonder how long it’ll take to break!?”

 _Aura?_ Is that what the protections called? Too bad all it did was make his suffering last longer. Daut could only growl as they even tried stabbing him. He kept his grip on his wand, wishing he could **Explom** these fools! If he let off a spell in such close proximity, he’ll be blown to bits! At least that’s what his panicking brain told him. 

Daut was close to exploding anyway until his wand was snatched from his grip. His eyes frantically looked for the culprit, wishing nothing but explosive retribution on whoever’s responsible. He spotted his wand lying on the dirt and reached towards it, not even caring about the feet stomping on his outstretched limb. He was so close! Just a little bit-

**_Snap_ **

He stopped, an inch away from his broken wand.

“Sorry about your stick! Things just happen you know?”

He clenched his bruised hand, fist-shaking. His forehead glowing.

“This all could’ve been avoided if you just kept napping like a good little boy and not think you can take on the Branwen Tribe!”

He growled once more, a much deeper baritone than before. Eyes brimming with such emotion they glowed.

His wand, given to him as a gift. From his… 

“Who the hell do you think you are!? Huh?” The piece of shit kicked him when Daut remained still. “Answer me!”

The only thing he had of her… 

Daut didn’t explode, he _erupted_. 

Giving a roar of absolute rage, Daut’s aura ignited and blew away all the bandits surrounding him. Standing up despite his injuries, he strode forward with red eyes unforgiving. Warding cross blazed onto his forehead, headband burnt off and forgotten.

Those pretty little bastards tried shooting. Their attacks became ash as he walked, undeterred by their boring resistance. His feet left scorched footprints on the earth, an eternal reminder of his rage.

Some brave idiots tried slicing at him. Their weapons heated and shattered as their blades came into contact with his blown up aura. Glowing eyes narrowed at their desperate flailing. Daut simply pushed out two palms and the bandits became acquainted with his close-range **Explom.**

Daut scoffed at their smoking bodies embedded into the ground. They weren’t dead, they weren’t worth the effort. Daut breathed in deep, feeling somehow empty. As the cold air filled his lung, he almost gagged. This thin, tasteless air… it felt wrong. He looked around, there was no smoke, no ash, no inferno’s to bask himself in!

Floating orbs of unimaginable explosive power appeared in his outstretched hands. He grinned sharply, he could fix that! Daut tossed his concentrated **Exploms** around him. The air ignited and scarred the earth, bandits ran screaming. Running for their cowardly lives! He laughed as the air became darker, filled with the smoke he so much enjoyed!

He kept having the time of his life, causing boom after boom of destruction in the bandit camp. His grin turned maniacal, never having felt so alive! Daut knew something was wrong, this awesome power didn’t just come from nowhere. Something was wrong as he loved to inhale the burning earth and wood. 

He felt something similar once before, back when Love was their enemy. He defeated her soundly with his new-found power, but he was focused on the safety of his friend. But now?

Daut roared with power! He has no such reservations about this time! Nothing was holding him back! Nothing could stop his raging inferno! 

No! Something was still wrong. He felt choked, even with his strength. He felt like a hand was grasping him, making him move the way it wanted. Daut shook his head, growling. Nobody controlled Daut Barret, future Divine Visionary, and the main character!

But, if this hand made him so powerful. Feel so _divine_. Then was it so bad? He’d feel less muffled, less restrained if he just gave in. He could have all the power he wanted… the unholy might he needed to accomplish his dream. Daut just had to… give in.

He gasped, hands going to his throat. Coughing up the ash and smoke he previously inhaled. That hand grasped him tighter than before, almost like it was burning him. Daut went to his knees, trying desperately to breathe. 

**_Submit_ **

_Never! I can kill these handsome jerks myself!_

**_Sweet little mortal… it must be so hard to breathe_ **

_Shut up! I’m doing just fine on my own!_

**_You must be sick of being so pathetic, why not become so much more?_ **

Daut’s body burned, his head aflame with thoughts that were not his own. He couldn’t move, trapped in this _thing’s_ hand.

_I don’t need your help!_

**_But you need_** **their** ** _help, why rely on the other mortals? They will throw you into hell if they were given this power_ **

_…_

**_You are special… Daut Barret. I’m only giving this chance to you, I will grant you so much. Nothing will be a hindrance to you, you will truly become_ ** **divine**

Against his better judgment, Daut thought to all the times he lost. The **Iron Fist’s** that made him choke on his blood. The hateful glare’s from the people who took advantage of his infatuation. The wind that tore him apart, the stone maw that almost crushed him. The glance of utter annoyance from that rock-licker bastard! Like he was nothing but a bug to be stepped on.

He remembered the times he did succeed and how they were always taken away from him. When he completed Silva’s challenge and the insane mocking laugh that greeted him. The betrayal of the girl he took the beating for. When he defeated Love, only to almost die to the Fourth Fang. When Finn and Lemon praised Mash for saving them when _he_ was the one that bled for them. 

He could remember Lance looking down on him, humoring him because Mash was his friend. Finn’s cowardice as he protected him with all his might. Mash forgetting about him. Love’s… usage of his injured state. He could remember it all.

**_So you understand… they will only use you. I promise I will not think so lowly of you. Whatever you want, I will give you the power to take it all. All I ask in return is your faith…_ **

He almost considered it, almost submitted himself to the hand squeezing him so. 

But then he remembered… everything else. Mash standing up for him, getting angry on his behalf. Showing concern for him, picking him back up when he was unsure of himself. Lemon’s kind words, her worry towards him. How she and Lance accepted him even with all of his… quirks. He and Lance’s friendly competitive banter. 

Daut choked not on ash, but on his tears. He could remember Finn’s care for him, his friendship that he dearly wanted. The warm feeling of their dorm room, the easy smiles, the companionship he always craved. And finally, he could remember the tending to his wounds. How Lemon went out of her way to move him around in a wheelchair when he couldn’t walk.

He could still feel the way Love smothered him with her- AH, don’t think about that! Okay, moving on!

He could remember it all! As his tears stained the ground he so carelessly burnt he thought back to his most precious memory.

_Stop cowering and start fightin’ back._

_I can’t… if I do. They’ll just get worse._

_You give up too easily. But… that’s gonna be a problem. Once you get a real friend._

_A real friend?_

_That’s right. Someone who’ll get sad or angry on your behalf. That kinda person comes along once in a lifetime. If you find that friend…_ never _betray them._

This big bastard thinks he can just get him to betray his friend! The friend who… got angry on his behalf! The hand started to burn, even more, he didn’t care. The hand squeezed tighter, he didn’t care. His legs wobbled but he still stood up.

“GET OFFA ME YOU TEMPTING LITTLE PRICK!!” Even though he could almost smell charred flesh, he still resisted the hand that held him so tightly. The pressure was at an all-time high, he could feel his new-found power leaving him. Daut didn’t give two shits!

He roared as he forced the influence out of him, the seductive power being drained by sheer will alone. Slowly, ever so slowly the hand started to lose its grip on him. Daut pushed on last time and sprang free from the unholy clutches of his power, feeling drained yet… fulfilled. 

**_Perhaps I was wrong, you are not as pitiful as I thought_ **

_Go to hell you probably handsome bastard!_

**_A cute choice of words, you still have much to learn…_ **

With those parting words said, the voice and hand left. Their presence went as well. Daut could finally breathe. As the cool air filled his lungs, Daut laughed. What the hell just happened?

Finally getting his legs to move, he walked down the path of destruction he created. Wincing at the burning tents and scarred earth around him. He did however smirk at the bandits cowering in fear at the sight of him. _Serves them right! Who just breaks someone’s wand-like that!?_

Daut kept walking until he joined up with his friends, victorious as usual. Lance with a scowling girl stuck to a floating pillar, weird but he doesn’t judge, Much.

Mash looked a little cut up but he doubted the creampuff loving madman even felt it. 

Lance nodded to him, “Good to see you up and about. I didn’t know you were so competent.”

Mash lazily looked over to him, “Dunno what happened to make you blow up like that but it was pretty cool. Where’d your headband go?”

Daut blinked… then he showed off a toothy grin, “I guess you could say, I’m a man of many mysteries!”

They all chuckled as the bandit camp was destroyed around them. Bandits watching in an awed stupor. Just another day in their young lives.

Yup, he wouldn’t trade this for anything,


	5. Rayne Ames and the Hunting Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swords get summoned, and the spider gets to pun in'.

**Rayne Ames and the Hunting Season**

The Divine Visionary of War strode onto the Adler Dorm of Easton Academy. Presenting an air of complete confidence and indifference.

His slightly hunched posture made him stalk the room, casting an image of a bird of prey. Ready to strike at any moment. 

Nobody dared bother the newly minted Divine Visionary on a mission, students and teachers alike practically throwing themselves out of his way. His two-toned hair of black and yellow makes him easy to spot.

It didn't matter that he was still technically a student himself, it didn't matter where he came from or his relatively young age. Everyone knew that when a Divine Visionary walks, you move out of their way.

Rayne Ames himself didn't have any strong feelings about his alumni. It was a place that helped him hone his skills, yes. But it was just that, a place. A place filled with superiority complexes as big as buildings, and egos as fragile as the ear of a bunny. 

An uninterested gaze fell upon his old dorm, compared to the two other dorms it was the least hostile to those less privileged. That wasn't saying much as the Lang Wolves and Orca Whales were more alike than they might think.

Lang may think themselves superior because of bloodline but Orca thought themselves superior because of intellect. Both of them had little time for those they thought were inferior.

The Adler Eagles at the very least didn't care about status since most of them were peasants themselves.

 _It certainly gives context to the look of the dorm,_ Rayne thought as he set his gaze upon the interior of his dorm. One could only describe it as home-like. It felt more like the interior of a large house than a prestigious academy.

Sofas, warm fireplaces, and modest kitchens certainly built a cozy image. 

It made Rayne almost sick, all the coziness of a bonfire with none of the warmth. It made Rayne think of home, and the brother he had to leave behind. 

Running a tired hand over his face, Rayne gave a quiet sigh. He wasn't here to relive memories, he had a missing student to find.

"It brings you back, huh Master Rayne." A spider lowered himself onto his shoulder. 

"It's been less than a year, there is no nostalgia." His cold yet soft voice carried itself throughout the empty dorm room, just next door was his next destination.

"Aw, don't be like that!" His companion swung around him, looking around the lavish walls covered in old paintings of dead people. "In spider years, that's a hell of a long time. It's been so long, I feel like a cobweb!" He cackled at his own spider pun.

"Not your best work."

"I'm just warming up my blood, oh wait, I don't have any!" 

Rayne let out a more good-natured sigh. If his puns were still terrible, then all was right with the world.

If only he could believe that.

**MSHL**

Finn Ames sat nervously on the recliner across from Daut's very own seat that was bought from him. _Who knew Emerald Splash tea could smell so good…_

A faint smile graced his freckled features, before dropping. He sat in the seat Lance usually reclined in, sweeping his jittery gaze to the kitchen Mash loved to bake in. It was still unused since he last baked his very first batch of creampuffs. 

Unused and spotless, just like Mash taught him. Mash always cleaned up after himself dutifully, never missing a spot. Finn wondered if his friend would be proud of the way he kept his kitchen clean, just like how he was proud of him before he… left.

...pausing briefly to wipe the tears from his eyes Finn sat there, waiting. Surrounded by the memories of his friends. 

The clock ticked and tocked as Finn did his best to keep it together. It wouldn't do for him to give in to his sorrow, he's cried enough tears.

Besides, he couldn't answer questions while babbling like a cowed little lamb. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Keeping them shut and just focusing on his breathing. In and out, in and out.

It's been a while since he did this routine. He hadn't had an outburst in a while so he hadn't needed it. Now he was meditating to calm a different emotion this time.

Eventually, he centered himself enough to calm down. Opening his eyes, he came face to face with his older brother silently staring at him.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Jumping so high out of the place he was sitting, he swore he grazed the ceiling with his forehead. He began to fall back down, eyes wide with terror before stopping. 

Cold metal greeted him as he lied down in midair. An ornate sword broke his fall and caught him before he could hurt himself.

Gently lowering him down, Finn slowly peeled himself off the magic made weapon and gingerly sat back down. Head bowed in shame.

"I see you're keeping up with your meditation." His brother's calm and composed voice echoed through the quiet room. Only the light cinders and sparks of the fireplace answered him.

Rayne unknowingly sat in Daut's chair, folding his fingers and crossing his legs as he tried to get comfortable in the awkward atmosphere. 

"Aww, he's just adorable as always! I just wanna eat him up!" Finn twitched as the Arachnabus landed on his shoulder, sharp fangs jutting in a facsimile of a grin.

"H-Hello to you too." Finn _really_ didn't want a giant spider on his shoulder but it would be rude to throw him off. "I can answer any questions you have."

His brother nodded, "Where were you at the scene of the crime?"

"I-I was hiding behind Daut, then the portal started to suck everyone in. I was hanging onto the floor near Daut before Lance grabbed him in a panic. They all disappeared into that portal…"

"I see, the portal stopped and disappeared as soon as those three entered?" 

Finn nodded shakily, "Yeah, they all just vanished at the same time… even that Portal Master." He closed his eyes and looked to the side, ashamed of himself. "If I was any closer, I can't help but think I could've been the one Lance grabbed. It should've been me, they all had a future! Why wasn't it, me!?"

"Enough." Rayne stood back up to his full height, looking down on his hysterical little brother. "It should've been no one, do you understand me?"

He said nothing, only the shaking of his shoulders gave away he was listening. 

Rayne stared before he hesitantly put a hand on Finn's shoulder. "The only one who did anything wrong was the Portal Master. I will find him, and I will make him regret being born. I promise."

"...okay. I can answer some more questions if you want."

Rayne was silent for a moment, before nodding and taking his hand off Finn's shoulder. He sat back down, "I apologize for making you relive these memories but I don't understand something."

"What?"

"I can see why they would take Mash and the Crown Scion, but why the Barrett kid? From what I understand he is nothing special." Rayne asked, not unkindly.

"I may be wrong, but back when we were fighting the Magia Lupus I saw Daut defeat a second-liner really easily."

Rayne nodded, “That’s impressive for a one-liner, first year, but not anything too noteworthy.”

“No, I know! But when he did it, I saw his forehead glowing!” Rayne’s eyebrow shot up, could it be? “I couldn’t see too well, but I could swear there was a cross on his head. Weird, right? It gave him a pretty big power boost though, his voice was weird too…”

“How weird?” Finn twitched, he forgot about the giant spider on his shoulder. “Was he putting on a voice? I know I can sound pretty dusty when my blood gets flowing, oh wait!” He cackled right in his ear.

“H-He sounded pretty deep, too deep. Like a… demon or something. That might just be the adrenaline talking.”

Rayne sat up abruptly once again, “Thank you for your time, that will be all.” He bowed at the waist once before making his way to the door.

“Brother!”

Stopping at the door, with his hand on the handle Rayne looked back. Finn bit his bottom lip and lowered the hand he raised. “It’s nothing.” He bowed his head. “Godspeed.”

Rayne paused, before closing his eyes. “Next time we meet, it will be with your friend in tow. Goodbye, brother.” With that said, he left closing the door behind him with a soft click.

Finn collapsed in Lance’s chair, bonelessly slumped. Tired beyond belief. “You better…” He sat surrounded by the memories of his friends, and the unspoken promise from his brother. 

Just one more to add to the pile.

**MSHL**

Rayne shook his head walking the streets of the kingdom, the bustling activity parting wherever he stepped. Honestly, it was a strange feeling going from getting ignored or ridiculed to having others metaphorically bowing at his feet, sometimes even literally.

"Those were some good talks, ya think so Master Rayne?" 

"They were informative, if strange." Finn gave him some useful information but seemed to be taking the events hard. It was why he made that promise to him, he needed some hope.

Lemon Irvine, was next on the list. When he got to her room she was nowhere to be seen, apparently, no one has seen her ever since her friends disappeared. That was both disappointing and concerning to hear.

The Magia Lupus members who were also witnesses weren't much help, but it helped to get a different perspective on things. Apparently, this 'Chellington' was after Abel the entire time. Mash, the Crown Scion, and the Ira Kreuz were simply collateral.

Love, the Tornado magic-user who recently joined Adler, was especially distraught when she found out that her favorite 'body pillow' was still missing. Rayne didn't need the wisdom of Athena to tell that he did _not_ want to know.

Shuddering, he focused on his next stop. Since he was given charge of this case due to his previous job of keeping an eye on Mash, which he technically failed, Rayne received an owl-letter from Brad Coleman. He also happens to be the one who sponsored Mash for Easton in the first place. The letter stated they found one of the Portal Master’s lackeys and are currently holding him behind bars, apparently the man was just as confused as them on how Chellington made them disappear.

How lucky he was, getting a chance to interrogate some poor little bunny. Very lucky indeed, how he gets to claim his _prize_.

Striding onto the scene, forcefully opening the station's doors, the Sword Cane made his way to the prisoner cells. 

Getting there he was greeted by Brad Coleman, who looked as grim as him. Strange, why was he so invested in this? Ah yes, those who sponsor future Divine Visionary’s get prestige and recognition for ‘discovering’ divine talent. His ticket to success was missing, that was all.

Rayne still nodded, no words needing to be said. They both knew what was going to happen. Following Brad, as he gestured for him to follow him, Rayne prepared himself for his meeting with the prisoner.

Meanwhile, Brad lamented over his shattered ego as he had to bow his head to a kid who’s still in school. Brad forced himself to remember that the kid he was taking orders from was the Divine Visionary of War himself, a prodigy among prodigies. Who could skewer this building and everyone in it with a wave of his wand? So he swallowed his pride... and opened the interrogation room, bowing his head to his superior in both skill and God’s blessings. “The prisoner is just inside, Lord Rayne.”

Rayne once again nodded his head in gratitude, not that Brad could see, and walked in without a word. Brad shut the door as the Divine Visionary entered, breathing a sigh of relief. This was a long day, maybe now that they have some divine assistance they can actually get somewhere with the criminal, he was tough safe to crack.

Shaking off his thoughts Brad walked away from the interrogation room, knowing Lord Rayne would want his privacy. He ran a tired hand through his face… “Hope the brat is alright.”

The prey didn’t need to look up from where he was taking a nap to know someone entered the room, looking up he saw a famous two-toned hairstyle attached to the scalp of an uncaring face. He chuckled humorlessly, “Do my eyes deceive me? I should be honored that a DV came to visit little ol’ me.” 

Rayne took in the prisoner, chained to a cool, metal table, and dressed in a stained lab coat? “Apologizes for interrupting your nap, I need some information and when you give it, you can get on with your day.”

The prisoner slapped his hand against the table, laughing all the while. “Apology accepted! You know, I can’t believe I’m still alive. Word on the street is that...” He snapped his finger towards me. “ _You sir_ are very, what the kids say ‘trigger-happy’ against criminals.”

“You’re already in front of me, there is no need for me to unleash this ‘trigger’.”

“Good luck, you little mutt. Hope they don’t take away your treats when you come back empty-handed.”

Rayne chuckled, a single chilling breath that was grim and without any humor. “Oh? Well, this mutt happens to be on a hunt.” He slowly approached his prize. “And you are the trapped little bunny I’ve been looking to _play with_ …”

The prisoner growled, “I’m right here, give it your best shot you unholy _dog_!”

“Oh, you poor thing. I think you’ll find…” The hunter summoned a sword in his outstretched palm, pointed straight at his head. Glimmering with divine retribution.

“That I never miss, _little bunny_.”

His screams went unheard of, echoing uselessly in his blood-soaked ears. 


	6. Mash Burnedead and the Non-Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven has had enough of this shit.

**Mash Burnedead and the Non-Magic**

“Ya should’ve seen those pricks! They just snapped my wand! Just like that, I mean who does that!?” 

“Hot-blooded barbarians. In fact, they remind me of you.” 

“Wanna say that to my face!?”

“I just did."

“OH YA WANNA GO, SMART MOUTH!?”

“It wouldn’t take too long, things are quite confusing these days.”

“Huh?”

Mash’s eyeballs ping-ponged themselves over to each of his friends since they began their trek back to civilization after their brief skirmish with the bandit tribe, barely caring about their newest argument. It was always something about these two, whether it was Daut complaining about Lance’s ‘stupid mug’ or how Lance keeps complaining about how Daut barely keeps his grades up. Daut usually responds with how he’s a specialist in combat and that, “I do the bare minimum with my brain, and leave the rest to the flick of the wrist!”

Whatever that means…

“God, I know you’re dead. But can you please give me a creampuff?” Mash pleaded, his kingdom for a cream stuffed golden confectionary of pure deliciousness! He doesn’t have a kingdom, but he’ll take one over if he has to!

Maybe he really  _ was _ addicted to creampuffs? Nah, if anyone else was in his position they would do the same.

“After careful analysis and thorough investigation, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are no longer in the kingdom.”

Daut stared at Lance, eyebrow raised. “Oh wow, I  _ never  _ could’ve guessed that myself.”

Lance scoffed, “Let me finish, the tribeswoman I interrogated confirmed some of my theories. These people don’t believe in magic, and they all don’t have lines. A large population of lack-magics wouldn’t be possible at home.”

“Don’t say lack-magics, Mash might find it offensive.” 

“I doubt it.”

Mash was indeed not focusing on the terminology of Lance’s words. He was instead focusing on the fact that the Vampire Lady told him to keep her magic a secret. She also tried to kill them, so Mash didn’t feel inclined to listen to her. 

He remembered their last conversation,

_ “Keep my magic a secret, it would be in your best interest.” _

_ “You’re kinda shady, I don’t know if I should. What if you’re a criminal?” _

_ “I technically am.” _

_ “In that case, I’m calling the police.” _

_ Raven laughed, a sickly amused sound that reverberated in her throat. “Good lick with that. However, if you tell anyone else of my secret then be prepared to put the pieces of your friends back together.” _

_ Mash got right up in her grill, bearing down on her with his merciless presence. “Now you’re just being mean, stop that or get punched.” _

_ Raven shivered. In fear? No, something else. “I’d  _ love  _ to see you try.” _

Mash shivered, not in fear but something else. He didn’t want to know why. Didn’t matter anyway, it’ll probably be the last time he’ll ever see her since he already fulfilled his one favor that he owed her by keeping her secret. Mash nodded happily to himself, it was nice to tie up loose ends. “Goodbye Raven, you were pretty cool for a blood-thirsty vampire.”

Daut noticed Mash talking to himself, especially when he mentioned Raven. “Raven, huh? So that’s her name… she was pretty hot.”  _ Wait, no! Resist those temptations, Daut! You’re already planning on engaging Lemon! ARGH, but I love assertive women! Especially if they can step on me! Oh god… I need help! _

While Daut was having a meltdown, Mash nodded. “Yeah, she was pretty hot-” By the time he covered his mouth, it was too late. Mash has just indirectly referenced her fire magic! If he’s not careful, he could reveal her entire secret, and then his favor will go unfulfilled! 

Daut, of course, was not privy to this. So he stopped himself in the middle of his meltdown to scuttle up to Mash, smirking all the while. “This is new… I never knew you’d be the one to two-time.” He beats his chest while walking beside Mash. “Honestly, Lemon deserves someone way better than you! Like me! I  _ never _ betrayed her trust, unlike you!”

While Daut was waving his hands wildly, ranting at nothing but the air, Mash whispered over to Lance. “What’s he talking about?”

“You don’t want to know.” Lance was quite sure Mash wasn’t dating Lemon, especially since the only thing he’s attracted to is a creampuff. Daut was simply jumping to conclusions.  _ Though, I never expected Mash to be interested in older women. _

Daut’s raving was put to an end when he realized that, oh yeah, Lemon wasn’t with Mash in the first place! “In that case, all is forgiven, Mash ol’ buddy ol’ pal!”

“`Kay?” He was just glad that the Vampire’s secret is safe for now. Then he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, “Come on Mash you can tell me, what is it about Raven that you’re into? Her hateful glare, the way she sneers at you as if you belong at the bottom of her heel? Or is it the fact that she keeps fingering her blade-like she’s itching to separate our heads from our bodies!?” 

Both Mash and Lance pause their stride to stare at Daut, wondering how much of a degenerate their friend is.

Daut shrank under their gaze, unable to look them in the eye. “I’m just… curious ya know?”

Mash shook his head, “It’s ok, we all like weird stuff, I’m passionate about creampuffs, you really like girls for some reason, and Lance has a sister-complex.”

Lance subtly ground his teeth, “How many times do I have to tell you, it’s not like that!”

They both shrugged, whether they believed him or not, it was fun to see their extremely high-strung friend get flustered. 

“Hooray for sibling love.” 

“Don’t make me kill you.”

**MSHL**

When dusk approached their long walk to civilization, Mash and the gang settled down for the night. When they realized they had nothing but the clothes on their back, they had interesting reactions.

Daut nodded, “Well then, we’re dead. It’s the end for us, we had a good run all things considered.” 

Lance shook his head, whether that was from the cold or just his usual disagreement with Daut, Mash didn’t know. “You give up much too easily, we simply start a campfire to stay warm.”

“Oh yeah! Good idea, hey Mash can ya get some firewood? Ya know Lance, for a pretty boy… you’re okay in my book.”

“Oh, joy…”

“Got it.”

Daut and Lance looked over to see Mash carrying an entire tree plus root like an aluminum bat while getting flanked by an entire pack of squirrels, they blinked, then pointed to each other. “Called it.” “Obviously.”

“Um guys, where do I put this? All these squirrels keep biting me.” Indeed they were nibbling their little teeth all over Mash’s uniform and exposed skin, he couldn’t even shake them off without hurting them. 

Taking a moment to laugh at his friend’s misery, Daut answered, “Just make it into a stump and we’ll use that!”

Mash looked confused for a moment, but after a moment nodded. “`Kay.” Turning the uprooted tree over in his hands, Mash karate chopped the bottom of the tree clean off. He threw the rest of the tree behind him, crashing down with a dull thump. “Here you go.”

Lance nodded in thanks before pointing to Daut, “Now it’s your turn, make yourself useful and light the campfire.”

Daut frowned, “And what the hell will  _ you  _ do!” Is this guy just gonna boss them around!?

Lance rolled his eyes, “You’ll see after you light this thing up.”

Scoffing, Daut raised his palms to the stump. Doing his best to will the smallest firecrackers that his magic can produce to light the fire. Daut closed his eyes sweating, he prayed they all make it out of this alive. Preferably with all their limbs attached and not blown off.

_ Crackle _

Cracking his eyes open just a tad, they soon flew open when he saw the stump burning with a small, healthy flame. “Haha! I did it, I did a wandless spell!” Relief coursed through Daut as he figured out how to control his magic without a focus tool like a wand.

_Strange_ , Lance thought, _he seemed to be throwing giant explosions around just fine back at the bandit camp. He told me his wand was broken in the middle of the skirmish, why would he lie?_ He shook his head, it was none of his business. Daut could still take care of himself, he wasn’t like Finn. Not that he had anything against the younger Ames brother, in fact, he reminded him of Anna given his situation. Lance sighed, enough reminiscing, back to the task at hand.

Lance nodded to Daut, “Thank you, that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

“I  _ will  _ blow you up.” Daut reminded him.

“Next time, for now, watch me do  _ my _ part.”

He aimed his wand at the thin flame and cast a light  **Graviole** on top of it. Suddenly, as if it was blown on with a chimney fan, the flame burst into a warm, and cozy campfire.

Daut’s jaw dropped, “Did you just… gravitate the  _ air  _ to produce more flames? Is that even possible?”

Lance smirked, “Don’t question it.”

Shrugging, Daut found himself snuggling up to the fire. Rubbing his cold hands, he let out a shiver as his body relaxed. “Ahhh, now that’s the ticket. Nice work team!”

“What are you doing?”

Turning, Daut found a confused Mash looking at him weirdly. “Uh, not freezing to death.”

He shook his head, “A campfire is not complete without somewhere to sit.” Mash stated as if complete fact.

Daut raised a jagged eyebrow, “Who the hell said that?”

“The camp guide I got when I was a kid.”

“What,” Daut laughed. “Never had a camping trip before.”

Mash shook his head while looking down, “I never hung out with friends before.”

_ Grk!  _ Daut gripped his bleeding heart, tears spilling from his eyes. “I’m so sorry Mash! I’m honored to be your friend!” 

Mash looked up, “Really?”   


“Yup, ain’t that right Lance?” Daut looked pointedly at his fellow magic-user as if trying to say ‘don’t you dare hurt his feelings!’.

Lance shrugged, “You’re my friend.”

Giving a small smile, Mash felt happy. “Thanks, guys. To celebrate our first hang-out I’ll get us something to sit on.” His piece said Mash disappeared from sight.

“Wait, Mash-!” His warning came too late as Mash hovered in the air slashing a knife-hand to the top of three perfectly lined up trees. The tips fell off like they were simply erased from their wooden homes. 

Landing silently onto the earth, Mash launched another air-blade to the bottoms of the same topless trees. Like magic, the slash lifted the gigantic trunks and made them land onto Mash’s outstretched arms. All three of them.

Turning to his friends, Mash threw the wooden handmade chairs to the ground around the stump campfire. He spread his arms as if to say ‘Tada!’

Daut and Lance looked at each other and nodded. “I shouldn’t be surprised.” “It should be expected.”


End file.
